tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-224933542011-04-21T14:55:13.113-07:00Phil Shapirohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16051999512417898279noreply@blogger.comBlogger11100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22493354.post-1140003095415993422006-02-15T03:28:00.000-08:002006-02-17T02:28:00.010-08:00<span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><br /><br /><br />(In February, 2006, Yahoo and MSN announced that they're exploring <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/02/14/AR2006021401604.html">financial incentives</a> to get people to use their search engine. This is a short skit and song I wrote in response to that news.)<br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Search Engine Incentives - A Play in One Act (in 314 Words)</span><br /><br /><br />"The reason we're all gathered here today is to brainstorm incentives we could use to get people to use our search engine. Anyone have any ideas?"<br /><br /><br />"We could offer to pay for the winner's groceries for a year."<br /><br />"That's a good idea. Any others?"<br /><br />"We could offer the winner a new car."<br /><br />"That's a good idea. Any others?"<br /><br />"We could offer to pay the winner's groceries for a year and buy them a new car."<br /><br />"That's a good idea. Any others?"<br /><br />"We could throw in free gasoline for a year."<br /><br />"That's a good idea. Any others?"<br /><br />"We could offer to pay the winner's groceries for a year and buy them a new car, throw in free gasoline for a year and pay for their kids' college tuitition."<br /><br />"That's a good idea. Any others?"<br /><br />"We could offer to pay the winner's groceries for a year and buy them a new car, throw in free gasoline for a year, pay for their kids' college tuitition and pay off the mortgage on their house."<br /><br />"That's a good idea. Any others?"<br /><br />"We could offer to pay the winner's groceries for a year and buy them a new car, throw in free gasoline for a year, pay for their kids' college tuitition, pay off the mortgage on their house and offer two unlimited round trip airline tickets to anywhere in the world."<br /><br />"That's a good idea. Any others?"<br /><br />"We could offer to pay the winner's groceries for a year and buy them a new car, throw in free gasoline for a year, pay for their kids' college tuitition, pay off the mortgage on their house and offer four unlimited round trip airline tickets to anywhere in the world."<br /><br />"That's a good idea. Any others?"<br /><br />(pause)<br /><br />"Maybe we could offer them a better search experience?"<br /><br />"No, I'm sorry. That's absolutely out of the question."<br /><br /><a href="http://www.digitaldivide.net/profile/pshapiro">Phil Shapiro</a><br /><span style="text-decoration: underline;"></span><br /><br />- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -<br /><br /><br />If you have a piano nearby, sing along heartily with this ditty. (Sung to the tune from the musical<a href="http://www.writersforliteracy.org/cabaret.mov"> Cabaret.</a>)<br /><br />Yahoo and MSN,<br />They want you to search,<br />Come take our money, please.<br />Our search engines are getting so lonely,<br />Come take our money, please.<br /><br />We're giving out candy,<br />And beads and trinkets,<br />We'd love for you to visit.<br />We're spending all -- our -- assets.<br /><br />(QuickTime Karaoke anyone? If you create it and post it on the web, I'll link to it from here.)<br /><br /><br />Upload your videos of this song to <a href="http://www.vimeo.com">Vimeo</a> and/or <a href="http://video.google.com">Google Video.</a><br /><br />You can upload videos for free to Google <a href="https://upload.video.google.com/">right here.</a><br /><br />Let's entertain ourselves on this one. You might win a lifetime supply of baking powder. (About one can of baking powder.)<br /><br />Offer void where prohibited. Prohibited in the Galapagos Islands, Tierra Del Fuego and the entire continent of Antarctica.<br /><br /><br /></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/22493354-114000309541599342?l=searchengineincentives.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Phil Shapirohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16051999512417898279noreply@blogger.com